Bells and whistles? Why is it called that? Are the bells to remind you who's making the running in the Tory party (/who was making the running yesterday - is anybody? - you can never be sure). And is the 'whistles' some oblique reference to fact that this is the one of the few pages on the site that's not completely mute. Why isn't it just called 'The Political Page'? Answer: because then nobody would look at it.
EXCLUSIVE!!! If you have the patience to wait while it flickers into action, this is a picture of that nice Davey Davey's brain at work. If this picture is already out of date and it's somebody else's turn to be Tory leader for this or next week, don't blame me. Just use your imagination. If a week is a long time in politics, then it's an eternity in the Tory party.
Democracy in action!
E X T R A !
A political think tank in action!
Sparing no expense, secret microphones were strapped to the backs of our expertly trained little moles and these were sent underground to record the think tank at work (or something like that). We have the full range of events recorded, from them seeking inspiration to the shattering conclusion (I was going to say Earth-shattering, but this isn't George Dubya's think tank. That would just say BANG! anyway). And if you believe all this crap about little moles, you'll believe that we are safe in the hands of the wisest of leaders).
Prelude So you want music do you? Well, I'm not sure that I can oblige there, but here's a little ditty of which I 'sang' a quite different version in 'duet' (using both terms very loosely) just before the 2001 General Election. I am very grateful to Chris Williams and subsequently Phil Carradice for their 'willing' accompaniment. Anyway, here is the second version of the song. Well, I changed the original six times, I was geetting fed up with changing it every other week. The earliest version was called The Battle Hymn of THE NONE OF THE ABOVE Party and featured William Hague and that blonde bombshell - I think they said bombshell - Ann Widdecombe, before she was even blonde.
Anyway, here is ...
The Ballad of Robbin' Hoodie
Tune (Loudpeakers if you must. And be patient - it's a big file)
Robbin' Hoodie, Robbin' Hoodie, and his light-fingered friend, They called the greatest clothes-shops just to see what they could dream. Robbin' Hoodie, Robbin' Hoodie, and his light-fingered friend, Now this year's Party Conference will be like a stylish show Pin-striped suits, uplift bras. There really is no end. Like your politics to be a bit lively? Have a look at the web site of SEReN. Or you could have a look at my own excursion into political history. And if you think, certainly correctly, that the world of music has been done a great disservice by this page, there are plenty of proper music sites out there. Try the one from James Eller.
Interactive Caption
Warming Up
Hard at Work
Seeking Inspiration
Reaching the conclusion
Relaxation (it was a hard day)
Robbin' Hoodie, Robbin' Hoodie, an idea at Number Ten.
It's really rather sad, this thought that clothes are good,
Robbin' Hoodie, Robbin' Hoodie, Robbin' Hoodie.
They said they would welcome anything
to pick up all the troubles on the hairy social scene,
so then they wouldn't have to do a thing.
Robbin' Hoodie, Robbin' Hoodie, an idea at Number Ten.
It's really rather sad, this thought that clothes are good,
Robbin' Hoodie, Robbin' Hoodie, Robbin' Hoodie.
and policy will be a culture trend.
The Paris Fashions will be the proper place to go -
but not for naughty Hoodie and his friend.
A Rolex watch, baseball caps, they all will serve their end.
It's really rather sad, this thought that clothes are good,
Robbin' Hoodie, Robbin' Hoodie, Robbin' Hoodie.
L-Special
The Pinko Songbook
Russmo on the Visual Arts section
The Red Flag
'W' is for Dubya
Back to 'Other Other'