Dennis Lewis

Epigrams & Aphorisms: the wit and wisdom of Dennis Lewis

*     Smugness is often the price we pay for contentment.
*     A sober artist is always unworthy of his talent.
*     I try not to carry grudges; they are always heavier than they look.
*     I never met the woman of my dreams, but many women populate my nightmares.
*     Every woman sees herself as loyal, honest and taken for granted. Every man sees himself as loyal, honest and misunderstood; that is the starting point of any narrative.
*     The largest book in my home bears the title 'Good Intentions'; the slimmest volume, 'Sins I have Forgiven'.
*     The single man's diet consists of beer, bad food and good sex; empty calories and empty promises.
*     The whore and the artist have much in common; they both believe they debase themselves for money.
*     Cold feet...warm heart; warm feet...Damart.
*     Of course God will forgive, but can he ever forget?
*     Whenever I think I'm wrong I always say the word Humility; by then the thought has passed.
*     I'm never inclined to forgiveness; I figure God has cornered the market on that one.
*     In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was...Supercalifragelisticexpealidotious.
*     Good ideas like to mingle with the absurd.
*     A happy insomniac is one who counts his blessings instead of sheep.
*     I don't understand why alcoholics drink meths, when for a similar outlay they could drink Muscadet.
*     Tomorrow never comes...for the under forties.
*     Love and hate are the Molotov cocktails of our emotions.
*     The difference between a conversationalist and a writer is precision of language.
*     Loyalty rarely survives a pay claim.
*     As far as we know animals don't suffer existential angst; as far as we know animals could be partying all the time.
*     If a new broom sweeps clean, who needs a Dyson?
*     The dying are not embarrassed by their passing, as drunks are never embarrassed by oblivion.
*     A politician will defend his honesty right up to the point of declaring a witch hunt.
*     If the meek shall inherit the Earth, how come Bambi isn't president of the United States?
*     Metal detectors cannot detect murderous ideas.
*     Do not write to get published; if you can write one original sentence, someone will read it.
*     Poems are not written to be understood; logic is the genius of scientists.
*     Proust said that he relied on memory and talent; I would add luck and hard work to that equation.